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The things I don't say . . .

I'm realizing that this LJ and similar internet communications are serving an important purpose to me. I don't really try to keep things secret, but I find it hard to mention important things sometimes if they don't come up in conversation. Or even if they do come up in conversation, sometimes things seem like too long of a story, or the conversation goes by too fast. Really, I often communicate better in writing, especially when there's no deadlines. Though even there, I sometimes can oversimplify stories (when I'm not putting in unneccessary detail)

People are sometimes upset or even hurt that they didn't know things about me sooner. I want to say that I don't mean to do that. And that it's always okay, and often a good idea, to ask me personal questions, as long as they're not too interrogatory. I am a very open person, but I often find myself not knowing how to say things.

One big thing I haven't been talking about much to new friends in recent years is Tom. Thomas Jerome Grothe, 1975-2001. We met in 1994 and spent much of the next seven years together. We loved each other very much. We could talk on and on about anything and everything, or sit quietly together reading or listening to music. My massive music collection is as much Tom's as it is mine, no more no less. We were always introducing each other to new sounds, most of which we loved equally and eventually forgot who heard what first. Books, too, to a lesser degree.

I find myself speechless faced with the infinite things I could say about him. But, in time, you may hear some of them, if you want to.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lady_hotaru
Oct. 6th, 2005 03:40 am (UTC)
*hugs*
missmollygrue
Oct. 11th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)
I think you're touching on one of the original purposes of journalling to begin with; you're depositing things that happen inside your brain someplace where they can't be forgotten. LJ adds the new dimension of also sharing those things with other people, and so it becomes communication as well as...well, storage. Communication is not always its first function. I find that when I write stuff down, or even tell others about it, I can then stop thinking about it. The thought it trapped in amber now, it's safe, I can't lose it.

At least, that's me.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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