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Guilt

One thing I wondered today is, while I am so good at rationalizing my way out of feeling irrational jealousy or irrational anger, why is it so hard to think my way out of irrational guilt? Perhaps because the former is just about what is going on in my mind, while the latter is concern for others. I definitely have some issues with guilt. Sometimes I get defensive about things I do, or try to overexplain them, to try and avoid feeling guilty about them. I've learned that that's counterproductive, but I still do it automatically in some situations, especially with those I care about.

But at the moment, I think I can be secure in the knowledge that things are okay. I've done a lot of resolving things with people lately, and it feels really good. A lot of things are much more okay than you expect once you talk about them. And even when they're not, sometimes it just needs to be done anyway to understand the situation and start to deal with it.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
epinephric
Dec. 15th, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
Please tell me the overcoming-irrational-guilt trick, as soon as you figure it out. I could use it. :-\
perruche_verte
Dec. 16th, 2005 12:17 am (UTC)
The best trick I've learned so far is just to ask yourself, how is it helping anyone right now for me to sit here and feel this way?

Remember, the world doesn't care how bad we feel. What's important is what we do to take care of people right now.
grenacia
Dec. 16th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC)
That's a good trick. I've used it for other things, but for some reason it never occurred to me to use it on guilt.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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