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The winds of change blow at gale force

I babysat phoenixredux's five-year-old daughter (she who is referred to in LJ as "The Bean") most of the day while he was a delegate at his local DFL convention. We went to the Children's Museum which was fun but tiring. It is fun to borrow children now and then and then give them back to their parents and resume life as a childfree person.

My great aunt Ethel died that night. I had just been thinking about her. I kind of wish I had seen her more recently before she died, but, since she apparently had developed senile dementia, I don't know how meaningful and experience it would have been for either of us. I will remember her by the paintings she painted in her younger days, and the odds and ends she gave me when she was going into the nursing home and didn't have room for them anymore. And just the memories. In any case, from what I've heard about her cancer and other health issues, I think she was ready to go.

I was woken up around 8 in the morning by the sound of Matt screaming. He had thrown out his shoulder somehow in his sleep, it was stuck in an odd position and it hurt to move it. I did what I could to help him, which wasn't much, then his mom came and took him to the doctor (who medicated him heavily) and I went back to sleep.

In the evening, I watched Brokeback Mountain with my family and perruche_verte. Though an extreme example, it makes one think about some of the problems a couple can face in a long-distance relationship or a relationship that society does not recognize as okay. There is also the unrelated problems the two men had with their wives. Sam and I are thankful that we are not gay cowboys in Texas, and also that our parents do not turn on the TV to watch football during Thanksgiving dinner (you might have to see the movie to know what I mean there). Sam had the short story the movie was based on, which I read later. It had the same structure and sad ending, but the sad ending was somehow less sad in the story, more sweet and nostalgic.

Late that night, perruche_verte and I had our first conversation about the idea of living together at some point. I think its pretty clear we both like the idea, though we're not in any hurry, since we're pretty settled where we are at the moment.

That got me thinking about houses, which got me thinking about money. My job does not pay me nearly as much as they should be paying me by now, after working there for seven years and having nearly ten years experience in the skills I use. They really need me, but they supposedly just don't have the money to pay their employees more than they do now. I used to be really attached to this job, but ever since the first merger and the move to St. Paul (having previously been in walking distance for me) several years ago, I have become less and less so. I hate the job-search process, and it brings out my shyness. But its past time to see what else is out there.

I applied for a job that is in my neighborhood and pays a lot better. Though I'll have to check it out and see if I like it aside from that, of course. I should also talk to a company who's been interested in hiring me in the past, and see if they'll be looking for someone anytime soon. I should also talk to one of my bosses and see if the possibility of me leaving will inspire better pay to make me stay. All this scares me but I think it needs to be done and I've been putting it off, letting opportunities pass.

I had meant to go to the Scarleteen benefit, but I had a headache and spent the evening in bed with my laptop and the book Blue Highways. I also did some laundry.

When I got up this morning, Matt told me he and K had just broken up. I didn't get much chance to talk to him, since he was on the phone with her still. They are both really heartbroken I think. She will be coming for one last goodbye visit next week.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 28th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear about your aunt. And thanks again for watching Bean - you're a total life saver.

Let me know if you need another set of eyes on your resume. I'm pretty good at that sort of thing.
Mar. 28th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
None of my great-aunts lived very far into my own lifetime. I did experience the deaths of three of my grandparents, none of whom were in a state to recognize me when they passed. On the last visit to my father's mother, she was very glad to see me, but she also thought I was my cousin. Just as well, I suppose.

Good luck on the job search. I'd wait until I had a good offer in hand before having "the talk" at your current job, though.
Mar. 28th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm in no hurry to have "the talk" at work, aside from the usual hints I make about being underpaid which are ignored.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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