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I want to get married as myself

When I walk down the aisle and say my vows, I want to do it as myself. I don't want to be processed into a princess-for-the-day. I don't want to feel like an actress playing a bride, some other girl, someone else's fairy story. I want to be me, in my own happily-ever-after.

I am not wearing makeup. I don't wear makeup, unless I'm in costume, dressing up as someone else. This is not a theater piece. This is real life. This is me. I dont like the way it feels on my face. I want to be comfortable.

I am not having my hair "done". I don't want to have any "product" in it, that's icky. I've never seen one of those bridal hairstyles I've liked, that i'd feel like me in. I want to wear it down, and pin it up or braid it myself, casually, later on the dance floor.

I'm not going to wear uncomfortable clothes, or things that are appropriate but that I don't like the way I look in. I don't want to wear something because my mother says it looks good on me. I want to wear what I think looks good on me. I don't want excessive time or money wasted on this, even if its not my time or money. I got a lot done yesterday and a big part of it was finding a dress I like. I don't want that taken away from me. My mom wants to reject it before she's even seen it because, like virtually all bridal clothes, its not natural fibers and she says "My daughter is not wearing a polyester dress for her wedding".

In fact, I don't want anyone at my wedding telling anyone else they're not dressed appropriately. I don't care if you're talking to your own child. Not on my wedding day. On so many special occasions throughout my childhood, my mother would yell at me and make me cry because she didn't like how I was dressed. For my special day, I want us all to be ourselves.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 16th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
I sent that to my mom with this add-on:
I don't entirely object to the possibility of finding a different dress, but I like this one and I don't like the way you're reacting over this. I need to be able to be me and there are some things Don and I need to make our own choices on, because this is our wedding.
Jul. 16th, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
Re: I sent that to my mom with this add-on:
RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is YOURS
Jul. 16th, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
This is YOUR wedding. You have to do what you and your husband want!
For my first wedding, I let everyone tell me what they wanted and it was not a great wedding. It was what everybody wanted and not taking into consdieration this was suppose to be "my and the ex day" It was bad.

Fast Forward 13 years when Irish and I got married. We had the wedding we wanted (we paid for it) and it was what every little girl dreams of how a wedding should be.

I love we got married at MOA and had a chocolate wedding cake. This is your day. You need to do it YOUR WAY

Jul. 16th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC)
I want to get married naked on horseback. Not that I necessarily want to get married again but in my fantasies that's how I see myself doing it.
Jul. 16th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
Marriage ceremonies are a delicate balance between the couples wants and the person who's paying for it's needs. I have no idea if I spelled that correctly or if it makes any sense.
Jul. 16th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
got jitters?
its okay to take mom completely out of the planning process, you know.
its all for you, you are all that matters ... well and D I guess too
Jul. 17th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC)
Well, the main deal I'm having with my mom with my wedding is, if she wants it and I'm okay with it, she can have it if she pays for it. But she's getting dictatorial about things beyond that, and I'm feeling like I need to take back control, but without hurting her.
Jul. 16th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
Your wedding is a reflection of you and your mate, and it is your way of saying in front of your friends and family, "Hey, this is who I am, this is who we are". My mom told me that it should echo how you want to live your lives together too. So, this princess for a day thing really irritated me when I got married. I decided that since I am a gypsy at heart, I would dress like a gypsy, and not wear shoes. :)

It's your day... be at peace about that!
Jul. 17th, 2007 05:59 pm (UTC)
I love you, baby. Polyester dress and all. :)
Aug. 8th, 2007 03:31 am (UTC)
This is such an awesome post. It made me smile and smile. It should be a post-modern, alterna-bridal manifesto. :0)
Aug. 8th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
That means a lot coming from you, having just heard your own eloquent soul-baring at the Fringe.

Maybe I should post it to the antibride community.
Aug. 15th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
You are wise, Obi-wan.

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )